"The Lord is my Strength, My Personal Warrior, My Invincible Army" (Hab. 3:17)
A friend recently shared this verse from the Amplified Bible with me. Yesterday, while sitting in the biopsy lab, I repeated it over and over in my mind.
The verse continues: "He makes my feet to be like Hinds' feet to walk, not to stand in terror, but to walk with spiritual progress upon the heights of my troubles, sufferings and responsibilities".
Isn't that beautiful? It's wonderful to think that if I trust in God I will not be paralyzed by the "unknowns" or the "what ifs" but He will give me the ability to keep moving forward to greater and greater heights, in spite of my weaknesses.
Yesterday I received a full medical physical to prepare for my upcoming surgery. After bloodwork, Ekg's, x-rays, etc my doctor asserted, "Except for cancer, you're the picture of perfect health". I had to laugh at the irony of that statement. But then I considered how much that applies to my spiritual walk with Jesus Christ. How often I think, "Except for lashing out at my children and losing patience with my husband, I'm the picture of perfect spiritual health", or "Except for coveting my neighbor's situation or resenting mine, I'm the picture of perfect spiritual health."
I'm praying that as the medical professionals cut away and treat the deadly disease inside of me, that God's Spirit will also be at work cutting away the deadly sins inside of me making more and more like His perfect, sinless Son.
Yesterday's procedure was not pleasant. The biopsy was even more painful than the previous ones, and might I add, much less dignified, if that's possible. But through it all, I felt covered in the prayers of thousands of people (yes, that's right, thousands!) that are praying for me and I was blessed to know that my children were being well-cared for by loving friends.
Friday is a big day for us as we learn both the results of the biopsy and we get to meet Baby Gerwing #7 - hopefully we'll learn if it's a Leah Hope or an Aaden Troy.
We continue to covet all your prayers.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Some Housekeeping
I'm humbled by the outpouring of love that I've received since making my pregnancy/diagnosis public a few days ago. I've had friends stop by just to hug me, bring me meals, pray for me - it's just overwhelming. And I can really see Christ's hands and feet reaching out to me through each of you.
Since many of you have had the same questions about the pregnancy and the cancer, I decided to blog the answers. From now on when anyone asks me the details of my treatment, I can just send them here - how efficient!
TOP TEN MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
1) Yes, I discovered the lump on my own, but only by the grace of God. The story goes: Tim and I were done having children - Done with a capital "D". However, I suspected that I might be pregnant and in the process of checking out all the typical physical symptoms that accompany early pregnancy, I found a lump in my right breast. So this unplanned little life inside me has possibly saved mine! God is so good.
2) The cancer is suspected to be at stage 2 because it's moved to my lymph nodes. How many will be determined in surgery. I also go for yet another biopsy next Tuesday to make sure it's not anywhere else in my breast, which would then change the staging (God is bigger than stages, however). Just for the record, needle biopsies make natural childbirth seem like a walk in the park. Please pray for me on Tuesday.
3) My surgery is scheduled for March 4th at Magee Hospital.
4) My oldest sister will be staying with me for about a week while I recover from surgery.
5)I can receive chemo therapy while pregnant. Psalm 139 tells us he "knit you together in your mother's womb". God has provided a protective shield around the baby to prevent any side-effects from the chemo. In fact, he's so well protected, that I'll lose my hair, but he won't. Just precious.
6) We told our kids the other night. Their biggest concern is the hair loss. My oldest daughter begged me to get a wig and my youngest son said "Mom, promise me you'll never walk into my room at night with your bald head, that would be too creepy." Gotta love 6 year old boys.
7)God has revealed himself to me powerfully over the past 2 weeks. I hope to share many of them, so please come visit here again.
8)I'm on a special diet - no meat, no dairy, mostly raw foods. I'm taking lots of supplements for both me and baby. This was not prescribed by the doctor (in fact they'd probably dissuade me from it), but God lead me to this diet. First week was tough, but now I'm used to it. It's amazing what you can be driven to do when you feel your life is on the line.
9) My husband is just an amazing rock for me. He makes my hot water every morning, counts out all my supplements, buys me carrots for my juicer (lots of carrots) and has sat with me for hours on end at the doctors' appointments. More than anything, he has encouraged me in my faith and has carried the torch of Christ for our family.
10) Finally, I have complete confidence that God will heal me. In fact, I believe he already has, it's just a matter of when I'll see it. I'm prepared to walk through the shadows of surgery, chemo and radiation, if on the other side I'll be more like Him. He never wastes our time. And as much as I want 2009 to go by quickly, I will try to savor each lesson taught, each divine word spoken, and each time God shows up.
Since many of you have had the same questions about the pregnancy and the cancer, I decided to blog the answers. From now on when anyone asks me the details of my treatment, I can just send them here - how efficient!
TOP TEN MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
1) Yes, I discovered the lump on my own, but only by the grace of God. The story goes: Tim and I were done having children - Done with a capital "D". However, I suspected that I might be pregnant and in the process of checking out all the typical physical symptoms that accompany early pregnancy, I found a lump in my right breast. So this unplanned little life inside me has possibly saved mine! God is so good.
2) The cancer is suspected to be at stage 2 because it's moved to my lymph nodes. How many will be determined in surgery. I also go for yet another biopsy next Tuesday to make sure it's not anywhere else in my breast, which would then change the staging (God is bigger than stages, however). Just for the record, needle biopsies make natural childbirth seem like a walk in the park. Please pray for me on Tuesday.
3) My surgery is scheduled for March 4th at Magee Hospital.
4) My oldest sister will be staying with me for about a week while I recover from surgery.
5)I can receive chemo therapy while pregnant. Psalm 139 tells us he "knit you together in your mother's womb". God has provided a protective shield around the baby to prevent any side-effects from the chemo. In fact, he's so well protected, that I'll lose my hair, but he won't. Just precious.
6) We told our kids the other night. Their biggest concern is the hair loss. My oldest daughter begged me to get a wig and my youngest son said "Mom, promise me you'll never walk into my room at night with your bald head, that would be too creepy." Gotta love 6 year old boys.
7)God has revealed himself to me powerfully over the past 2 weeks. I hope to share many of them, so please come visit here again.
8)I'm on a special diet - no meat, no dairy, mostly raw foods. I'm taking lots of supplements for both me and baby. This was not prescribed by the doctor (in fact they'd probably dissuade me from it), but God lead me to this diet. First week was tough, but now I'm used to it. It's amazing what you can be driven to do when you feel your life is on the line.
9) My husband is just an amazing rock for me. He makes my hot water every morning, counts out all my supplements, buys me carrots for my juicer (lots of carrots) and has sat with me for hours on end at the doctors' appointments. More than anything, he has encouraged me in my faith and has carried the torch of Christ for our family.
10) Finally, I have complete confidence that God will heal me. In fact, I believe he already has, it's just a matter of when I'll see it. I'm prepared to walk through the shadows of surgery, chemo and radiation, if on the other side I'll be more like Him. He never wastes our time. And as much as I want 2009 to go by quickly, I will try to savor each lesson taught, each divine word spoken, and each time God shows up.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Congress's Favorite Things
Polar exhibits at Rhode Island's Zoo
Water slides, museums and jet hangers too
Money to hault prostitution rings
These are a few of our favorite things
Refunds to those who don’t pay any taxes
We know it makes no sense, oh but the fact is
Obama has won and we know that it stings
But now congress gets all our favorite things
CHORUS: Mass inflation 'cross the nation
Makes our voters sad
But then we think of all our pork-barrel projects
And then we don’t feel so bad
Millions will go to support contraception
Billions to fund roads, and oh did we mention?
They’re certain conditions this stimulus brings
White males won’t share in our favorite things
We want to “stimulate” our re-election
But we pretend it’s for your own protection
That it will be 2 more years 'til we bring
All our constituents’ favorite things
CHORUS: Men like Limbaugh make O’s skin crawl
Gets him very mad
If the voters get thinkin’, they’ll find he’s no “Lincoln”
And then things will go so bad.
Polar exhibits at Rhode Island's Zoo
Water slides, museums and jet hangers too
Money to hault prostitution rings
These are a few of our favorite things
Refunds to those who don’t pay any taxes
We know it makes no sense, oh but the fact is
Obama has won and we know that it stings
But now congress gets all our favorite things
CHORUS: Mass inflation 'cross the nation
Makes our voters sad
But then we think of all our pork-barrel projects
And then we don’t feel so bad
Millions will go to support contraception
Billions to fund roads, and oh did we mention?
They’re certain conditions this stimulus brings
White males won’t share in our favorite things
We want to “stimulate” our re-election
But we pretend it’s for your own protection
That it will be 2 more years 'til we bring
All our constituents’ favorite things
CHORUS: Men like Limbaugh make O’s skin crawl
Gets him very mad
If the voters get thinkin’, they’ll find he’s no “Lincoln”
And then things will go so bad.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I'm trying my best not to be cynical in my estimation of the coronation..I mean, the inauguration that took place yesterday. Afterall, it is historically significant that the son of an African immigrant was sworn in as 44th President of the United States. (although not the 44th man to be sworn in as Obama stated in his speech). However, I chose to listen to the ceremony uniterrupted on the radio because I could not stomach the ridiculous girlish fawning of the media over this man whose sole accomplishment thus far is that he managed to beat out a dozen other contenders for the prize.
Obama has never written any significant piece of legislation, executed any business or office, or even held a job outside of a Uniiversity or government setting. And yet we're being sold the mantra by the "unbiased" media that he's a great man. Really? What's he done? Men aren't made great, they become great.
I hope with all my heart that Obama will live up to the profile of Lincoln that he has audaciously set before himself.. But please Mr. President, let the people and historians decide if you deserve that comparison. Nothing is so un-inspiring as a leader who bestows upon himself greatness...it's very Napoleonic, and we know how things worked out for him.
I actually heard a commentator suggest that Obama was "beautifully dressed". Well, I would hope so, considering he's being sworn in as the leader of the free world. But may I ask in deference to Sarah Palin, who bought his clothes, how much did they cost and will he be returning them?
I have nothing personal against the President. In fact I pray that he will lead this country with the utmost integrity, honesty and uprightness. I expect him to make a few stumbles along the way as he takes on the burden of these trying times and I promise to not act out in the mean-spirited fashion that we saw from the left for the past 8 years toward a man who without waiver kept us safe from those who want to destroy us. (Thankyou Mr. Bush).
However, based on what I know about Mr. Obama from his 2 year campaign, I am fairly certain that there is very little about his ideas and intentions that I will agree with. I will never support government take-over of our free market enterprises, afterall even our founding fathers acknowledged that it's our free market system that sets us apart from the rest of the democratic world. If Obama really wants to emulate Lincoln then he should embrace his free market principles. A few months after his inauguration, Lincoln described his understanding of the founding fathers’ approach to government in his July 4, 1861 message to congress: “the leading object of government is … to lift artificial weights from all shoulders; to clear the paths of laudable pursuit for all; to afford all an unfettered start and a fair chance in the race of life. Yielding to partial and temporary departures, from necessity, this is the leading object of the government for whose existence we contend.”
I will not support an $800 billion dollar stimulus program and the further incurrence of debt to the tune of $17,000 per household. My children are already on the path to inheriting an unstable and dangerous world, they don't need the further burden of a collapsed economic market because their parents could not stop the gratuitous printing and spending of money.
Furthmore, I will fervently fight against his efforts to make the killing of innocent life more accessible as Obama attempts to pass the Freedom of Choice Act, about which he stated in 2007, "Well, the first thing I'd do as president is, is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. That's the first thing that I'd do."
But with my torches lit and pitchforks ready, I will watch closely, very closely as I peer through the misty, bated breath of the fawning mainstream media, as President Obama steps into the Oval office as leader of the free world. This is no time for on-the-job training and the American peoples' patience is short. We expect results, no excuses, and no learning curve. And even though I hear the drumbeat of the mainstream media admonishing me to "get on board with the program", I will stand side by side with the 47% of those of us who did not vote for Mr. Obama, and without abandoning my conservative principles and my faith in the founding documents of our land, I will be quick to praise the President when I can, but I will oppose him when I must.
Obama has never written any significant piece of legislation, executed any business or office, or even held a job outside of a Uniiversity or government setting. And yet we're being sold the mantra by the "unbiased" media that he's a great man. Really? What's he done? Men aren't made great, they become great.
I hope with all my heart that Obama will live up to the profile of Lincoln that he has audaciously set before himself.. But please Mr. President, let the people and historians decide if you deserve that comparison. Nothing is so un-inspiring as a leader who bestows upon himself greatness...it's very Napoleonic, and we know how things worked out for him.
I actually heard a commentator suggest that Obama was "beautifully dressed". Well, I would hope so, considering he's being sworn in as the leader of the free world. But may I ask in deference to Sarah Palin, who bought his clothes, how much did they cost and will he be returning them?
I have nothing personal against the President. In fact I pray that he will lead this country with the utmost integrity, honesty and uprightness. I expect him to make a few stumbles along the way as he takes on the burden of these trying times and I promise to not act out in the mean-spirited fashion that we saw from the left for the past 8 years toward a man who without waiver kept us safe from those who want to destroy us. (Thankyou Mr. Bush).
However, based on what I know about Mr. Obama from his 2 year campaign, I am fairly certain that there is very little about his ideas and intentions that I will agree with. I will never support government take-over of our free market enterprises, afterall even our founding fathers acknowledged that it's our free market system that sets us apart from the rest of the democratic world. If Obama really wants to emulate Lincoln then he should embrace his free market principles. A few months after his inauguration, Lincoln described his understanding of the founding fathers’ approach to government in his July 4, 1861 message to congress: “the leading object of government is … to lift artificial weights from all shoulders; to clear the paths of laudable pursuit for all; to afford all an unfettered start and a fair chance in the race of life. Yielding to partial and temporary departures, from necessity, this is the leading object of the government for whose existence we contend.”
I will not support an $800 billion dollar stimulus program and the further incurrence of debt to the tune of $17,000 per household. My children are already on the path to inheriting an unstable and dangerous world, they don't need the further burden of a collapsed economic market because their parents could not stop the gratuitous printing and spending of money.
Furthmore, I will fervently fight against his efforts to make the killing of innocent life more accessible as Obama attempts to pass the Freedom of Choice Act, about which he stated in 2007, "Well, the first thing I'd do as president is, is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. That's the first thing that I'd do."
But with my torches lit and pitchforks ready, I will watch closely, very closely as I peer through the misty, bated breath of the fawning mainstream media, as President Obama steps into the Oval office as leader of the free world. This is no time for on-the-job training and the American peoples' patience is short. We expect results, no excuses, and no learning curve. And even though I hear the drumbeat of the mainstream media admonishing me to "get on board with the program", I will stand side by side with the 47% of those of us who did not vote for Mr. Obama, and without abandoning my conservative principles and my faith in the founding documents of our land, I will be quick to praise the President when I can, but I will oppose him when I must.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Why the cloud???
It's election day +7 and there is still a cloud of melancholy that's hanging over me. I've tried to shake it, to stay positive, to remain hopeful, but then I think about the ramifications of our country's choice, and I fall back into despair.
I question myself: Why are the election results so important to me? Why do I give it so much power over me? Why, when I am blessed beyond measure with beautiful kids, a loving husband, and loyal friends, do I allow my thoughts to continually return to uncertainty and fear.
Then it occurs to me: it is for the sake of my children, primarily their future, that I grow dismal.
I have always been taught to be proud of my country. My parents instilled in me a hope for tomorrow and the knowledge that in America, anything is possible if you work hard and set your course right. You will be rewarded for your hard work, protected from injustice, and ultimately succeed in achieving the American Dream. But the American Dream is looking more like a mere shadow of its former self.
The results of this election aren't just numbers from a ballot box. They aren't just citizens choosing one candidate over another. More ominous, the results are America selling its individualistic soul to the gods of collectivism, humanism, and immoralism.
If you think I'm overreacting, then I challenge you to read the Global Poverty Act, a bill filtering through the senate and sponsored by Barak Obama. This bill "has been surrounded by some controversy because it also has stipulations that could infringe on the Constitution of the United States". Yes, the same US Constitution that Obama views as fundamentally flawed. And yes, the same constitution that has given Obama the freedom to reach the pinnacle of his political career. And yes, the same constitution that ironically on January 20, he promises, with the help of God to preserve, protect and defend.
"The Global Poverty Act would make U.S. law on issues ranging from the 2nd Amendment to energy usage and parental rights all subservient to United Nations whims".
So, according to this bill, that Obama says "we can - and must make a priority on day one" the law will ultimately strip away our second amendment rights making them subservient to the U.N., place our parental rights under the power of the dictator-infested world body and paralyze our economy in order to meet the stringent global emissions standards set forth by the Kyoto Protocol.
So many naieve folks have mocked this bill thinking that it will never pass. Really? What's stopping it? Our country is now lead by the most extreme left leaders of the democratic party. Pelosi, Reid, Biden and Obama have all come out in support of the Global Poverty Act. And if I am to take Obama at his word "Together we can change the world", then why would I not believe that this is the means he will take to achieve this end?
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of 'liberalism,' they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened."
- Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948
I question myself: Why are the election results so important to me? Why do I give it so much power over me? Why, when I am blessed beyond measure with beautiful kids, a loving husband, and loyal friends, do I allow my thoughts to continually return to uncertainty and fear.
Then it occurs to me: it is for the sake of my children, primarily their future, that I grow dismal.
I have always been taught to be proud of my country. My parents instilled in me a hope for tomorrow and the knowledge that in America, anything is possible if you work hard and set your course right. You will be rewarded for your hard work, protected from injustice, and ultimately succeed in achieving the American Dream. But the American Dream is looking more like a mere shadow of its former self.
The results of this election aren't just numbers from a ballot box. They aren't just citizens choosing one candidate over another. More ominous, the results are America selling its individualistic soul to the gods of collectivism, humanism, and immoralism.
If you think I'm overreacting, then I challenge you to read the Global Poverty Act, a bill filtering through the senate and sponsored by Barak Obama. This bill "has been surrounded by some controversy because it also has stipulations that could infringe on the Constitution of the United States". Yes, the same US Constitution that Obama views as fundamentally flawed. And yes, the same constitution that has given Obama the freedom to reach the pinnacle of his political career. And yes, the same constitution that ironically on January 20, he promises, with the help of God to preserve, protect and defend.
"The Global Poverty Act would make U.S. law on issues ranging from the 2nd Amendment to energy usage and parental rights all subservient to United Nations whims".
So, according to this bill, that Obama says "we can - and must make a priority on day one" the law will ultimately strip away our second amendment rights making them subservient to the U.N., place our parental rights under the power of the dictator-infested world body and paralyze our economy in order to meet the stringent global emissions standards set forth by the Kyoto Protocol.
So many naieve folks have mocked this bill thinking that it will never pass. Really? What's stopping it? Our country is now lead by the most extreme left leaders of the democratic party. Pelosi, Reid, Biden and Obama have all come out in support of the Global Poverty Act. And if I am to take Obama at his word "Together we can change the world", then why would I not believe that this is the means he will take to achieve this end?
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of 'liberalism,' they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened."
- Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Onward and Upward...
I Timothy 2:1-2 I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 2 For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.
Isn't it interesting that every four years Christians give great credence to this verse? But while we recite it regularly in November, do we practice it in July? And what if we did, what difference would it make?
It's easy to pray for a leader who seemingly represents your own worldview but much more challenging when you fundamentally disagree with the leader God has put in place.
Here's some verses that help me along this path of healing and obedience:
The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes. Proverbs 21:1.
I love this verse as it clearly demonstrates that God is sovereign and will use whoever in whatever position to accomplish his will.
Place yourselves under the authority of human governments to please the Lord. Obey the emperor. He holds the highest position of authority. (1 Peter 2:13, God's word translation).
We as Christians have the choice to place ourselves under government's authority and the end result?... we please Him! What better motivation is needed?
Every person should obey the government in power. No government would exist if it hadn't been established by God. The governments which exist have been put in place by God. Romans 13:1.
This gives more comfort to those of us questioning the future direction of our country. God is in control and has already sifted tomorrow through his hands. And as long as it is morally sound to do so, we are to obey the laws of our government.
One last thought...even with all its faults, we still live in the most free and most prosperous country ever known to man. Although we may not agree with the implemented policies, we have the right to dissent, debate and even protest. In fact, it's interesting to consider that our country was founded on dissention.
But as Christians we must not be frivolous in our protest. We should always hold our leaders to account, but we must not become just another noisy voice in the airways of dissention. Our voice must hold the clear and distinct conviction of God's principles which will ultimately guide our country's worn rudder back on its original course of being "that shining city on a hill".
Isn't it interesting that every four years Christians give great credence to this verse? But while we recite it regularly in November, do we practice it in July? And what if we did, what difference would it make?
It's easy to pray for a leader who seemingly represents your own worldview but much more challenging when you fundamentally disagree with the leader God has put in place.
Here's some verses that help me along this path of healing and obedience:
The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes. Proverbs 21:1.
I love this verse as it clearly demonstrates that God is sovereign and will use whoever in whatever position to accomplish his will.
Place yourselves under the authority of human governments to please the Lord. Obey the emperor. He holds the highest position of authority. (1 Peter 2:13, God's word translation).
We as Christians have the choice to place ourselves under government's authority and the end result?... we please Him! What better motivation is needed?
Every person should obey the government in power. No government would exist if it hadn't been established by God. The governments which exist have been put in place by God. Romans 13:1.
This gives more comfort to those of us questioning the future direction of our country. God is in control and has already sifted tomorrow through his hands. And as long as it is morally sound to do so, we are to obey the laws of our government.
One last thought...even with all its faults, we still live in the most free and most prosperous country ever known to man. Although we may not agree with the implemented policies, we have the right to dissent, debate and even protest. In fact, it's interesting to consider that our country was founded on dissention.
But as Christians we must not be frivolous in our protest. We should always hold our leaders to account, but we must not become just another noisy voice in the airways of dissention. Our voice must hold the clear and distinct conviction of God's principles which will ultimately guide our country's worn rudder back on its original course of being "that shining city on a hill".
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