I was asked to give a brief testimony at my daughters' dance recital on Sunday. I was completely out of my comfort zone, as I consider myself a much better writer than public speaker. But I was honored to have the chance to share with hundreds of people, many who don't know the Lord, how He's working in my life. So here it is...
It’s a privilege to speak about the next song the fifth through seventh grade girls will be performing – Praise You in this Storm. I remember at the beginning of the year, Danielle asked me if I thought this song would be too mature for such young souls to appreciate. I told her that though I agreed 10 and 11 year old girls may not have encountered life’s storms yet, the Bible is clear that they will. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, for I have overcome the world”. And when those storms come, God will no doubt use this song to minister to their hearts. I didn’t realize at the time, that my words would soon ring true in my own life.
A few months ago, my husband and I received the joyous news that we were expecting our 7th baby. But that joy was quickly tempered by the devastating news that I had stage 2 breast cancer. Our storm had come.
Like many people who are blind-sided by a crisis, I became completely paralyzed – paralyzed by stress over the forthcoming medical treatments I’d need to receive; paralyzed by guilt – thinking that there was something I could have done to prevent this infliction and ultimately paralyzed by fear – fear of my future and more importantly, my children’s future. My reaction was not much different than that of the disciples in Mark chapter 4, who were overtaken by squalls while sailing on the open sea:
35That day when evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." 36Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
The Book of Matthew records the disciples shouting “Lord, save us, we’re going to drown!”.
In the midst of my despair, I too was crying out to God – “Save me, I’m drowning” and like the disciples, at the time, I admittedly thought that maybe God was sleeping or at least not listening to my cries. But thankfully, instead of turning to my own sinful, random thoughts, I turned to God’s truth – the Bible. And I read verses like Psalm 121
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
God wasn’t sleeping – he never sleeps. He’s the source of my help IF I turn my eyes to Him.
I also camped on this well-known verse from Isaiah 40….
28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no-one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who wait on the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
The word “wait” in this verse is the strongest Hebrew word for hope and faith. It literally means to weave a rope of His promises. Spending time in His word and meditating over his promises, helps us build that rope to hold on to. And a rope is made for rescuing.
I have a long road of treatment ahead of me - weeks of chemotherapy and radiation, interrupted by the much anticipated birth of our fifth baby girl. Medically speaking, my fight against cancer is still in its infancy . Spiritually speaking however, the battle is won! The day I chose to stop dwelling on my sickness, despair and fear and instead chose to dwell on God’s power, hope, and love – which the Bible says “casts out all fear” - was the day God rescued me. The day I chose to “Praise Him in this Storm”, even without knowing when the crashing waves will stop or the bellowing winds will cease, was the day I gained God’s peace over life’s battle of the unknowns.
Pray with me:
God, your Son Jesus said in Your word, “In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world”. And there are some here today who feel like they are drowning and the surging waves of a storm are overtaking them. I don’t know their situation, but You do God. As they scan the horizon looking for that rope of rescue, may they be drawn to the promises of your word “I will never leave you or forsake you”. May they cling to the truth that when we lift our eyes unto the hills, our help comes from you – the maker of heaven and earth.
Some here today Lord, may not be in the midst of the storm, but may see the dark clouds gathering in the distance and know that one is not far off. Give them the courage to praise you when that time comes knowing that your perfect love casts out all fear. That your word promises, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.”
And ultimately, whether in good times or bad, may you receive all the glory and praise unto your precious name, our savior, Jesus. Amen.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
It's a Girl!
As most of our close friends know by now, baby #7 was an absolutely unexpected surprise. God has a supernatural way of making his dreams our reality. I knew from the day I read those double lines on a stick that this baby was ordained by God for something special - not yet knowing what was to come.
So last Thursday, I was overwhelmed to finally meet our little baby via ultrasound. I was then both shocked and delighted to learn that we would be blessed with yet another girl - Leah Hope. A beautiful, healthy and perfectly formed little girl. (My poor boys:()
I had purposefully scheduled this ultrasound for the day before my first chemo treatment so that I could specifically pray for Leah Hope as the chemo cocktail IV dripped into my veins. As I sat on the Lazy Boy receiving my IV, I firmly planted God's word on top of my bulging belly, praying over the pictures of Leah that I had received just the day before. "You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalm 139. I'm already thanking God that he's forming her perfectly "in the secret place". Holding on to these promises makes the journey through chemo much more purposeful and the light at the end of the tunnel shine even brighter.
When I left the hospital after the chemotherapy, the doctors advised me that the onset of sickness would probably begin that evening well into the weekend. Well, here I am Monday morning, and so far the only effects I've felt is a terrible sinus headache which is easily alleviated with Tylenol. I'm both thankful and humbled that God reveals through me his power over side effects and his wisdom over medical predictions.
I am scheduled for the next round of chemo in 3 weeks. From what I understand, each round gets progressively more aggressive and the side effects become worse. So, I'm asking everyone I know to continue to pray. Pray specifically that 1)Little Baby Gerwing will be protected from any adverse effects of the drugs; 2) The chemo will totally obliterate all the cancer cells and 3)The side effects will continue to be minimal. Spring is a busy time in our family, and mom cannot afford to slow down!
Psalm 91: 9 If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge- 10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
So last Thursday, I was overwhelmed to finally meet our little baby via ultrasound. I was then both shocked and delighted to learn that we would be blessed with yet another girl - Leah Hope. A beautiful, healthy and perfectly formed little girl. (My poor boys:()
I had purposefully scheduled this ultrasound for the day before my first chemo treatment so that I could specifically pray for Leah Hope as the chemo cocktail IV dripped into my veins. As I sat on the Lazy Boy receiving my IV, I firmly planted God's word on top of my bulging belly, praying over the pictures of Leah that I had received just the day before. "You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalm 139. I'm already thanking God that he's forming her perfectly "in the secret place". Holding on to these promises makes the journey through chemo much more purposeful and the light at the end of the tunnel shine even brighter.
When I left the hospital after the chemotherapy, the doctors advised me that the onset of sickness would probably begin that evening well into the weekend. Well, here I am Monday morning, and so far the only effects I've felt is a terrible sinus headache which is easily alleviated with Tylenol. I'm both thankful and humbled that God reveals through me his power over side effects and his wisdom over medical predictions.
I am scheduled for the next round of chemo in 3 weeks. From what I understand, each round gets progressively more aggressive and the side effects become worse. So, I'm asking everyone I know to continue to pray. Pray specifically that 1)Little Baby Gerwing will be protected from any adverse effects of the drugs; 2) The chemo will totally obliterate all the cancer cells and 3)The side effects will continue to be minimal. Spring is a busy time in our family, and mom cannot afford to slow down!
Psalm 91: 9 If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge- 10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Perserverance...
Perserverance...that's what God's preparing me for.
It's amazing that when He speaks to us, he does so in such personal, creative, and obvious ways. A few weeks ago, my time with God was spent praying for complete healing from the cancer and protection for our baby while going through the treatments. Those prayers were answered by his still, small voice that reminded me that "Lo, I am the Lord that heals thee."
But as I stand at the threshold of entering a new phase of cancer treatment, I'm seeing more clearly that God does not want me to sit on the sidelines just waiting till I'm cured until I get back in the game. He's telling me to stay in the game and continue to serve him, relying on His strength in times of weakness.
A few weeks ago during church communion, as I'm praying over the elements, I felt His nudging, "Stay outward focused." Not an easy thing to do when you've just announced to the world that you're pregnant with cancer - it seems as if every conversation comes back around to the topic of my health. However, I was reminded that even Jesus, up until He took His last breath, was concerned about the lives of others, "Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" Luke 23:34.
God's word was confirmed yesterday by a friend of a friend who 26 years ago fought against breast cancer. Her message to me was to not set all my sights on healing, but to focus on where God has me in the process. And then today this verse leaped off the pages of my bible "Let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us". Hebrews 12:1.
Never in a million years would I have marked out this race for myself, but God in His sovereignty has marked it for me. I think back to my brief but memorable stint in Jr. High Track when the practice coach would lay out a running course for us complete with hurdles, cones and lane changes. The team would watch expectantly as he took great care in strategically placing each cone and hurdle precisely where he thought it would challenge us the most. He marked out our race. In the same way, God himself has laid out this course before me, strategically placing each marker - each hurdle, challenging me to push forward, and coaching me along the way. And I know that at the end of the race I will be rewarded with a prize that surpasses all earthly rewards.
James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
I am now in the position of choosing my response; will I run the race that God has lovingly marked before me or sit it out on the sidelines, standing idly-by while God's team marches down the field without me.
It's amazing that when He speaks to us, he does so in such personal, creative, and obvious ways. A few weeks ago, my time with God was spent praying for complete healing from the cancer and protection for our baby while going through the treatments. Those prayers were answered by his still, small voice that reminded me that "Lo, I am the Lord that heals thee."
But as I stand at the threshold of entering a new phase of cancer treatment, I'm seeing more clearly that God does not want me to sit on the sidelines just waiting till I'm cured until I get back in the game. He's telling me to stay in the game and continue to serve him, relying on His strength in times of weakness.
A few weeks ago during church communion, as I'm praying over the elements, I felt His nudging, "Stay outward focused." Not an easy thing to do when you've just announced to the world that you're pregnant with cancer - it seems as if every conversation comes back around to the topic of my health. However, I was reminded that even Jesus, up until He took His last breath, was concerned about the lives of others, "Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" Luke 23:34.
God's word was confirmed yesterday by a friend of a friend who 26 years ago fought against breast cancer. Her message to me was to not set all my sights on healing, but to focus on where God has me in the process. And then today this verse leaped off the pages of my bible "Let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us". Hebrews 12:1.
Never in a million years would I have marked out this race for myself, but God in His sovereignty has marked it for me. I think back to my brief but memorable stint in Jr. High Track when the practice coach would lay out a running course for us complete with hurdles, cones and lane changes. The team would watch expectantly as he took great care in strategically placing each cone and hurdle precisely where he thought it would challenge us the most. He marked out our race. In the same way, God himself has laid out this course before me, strategically placing each marker - each hurdle, challenging me to push forward, and coaching me along the way. And I know that at the end of the race I will be rewarded with a prize that surpasses all earthly rewards.
James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
I am now in the position of choosing my response; will I run the race that God has lovingly marked before me or sit it out on the sidelines, standing idly-by while God's team marches down the field without me.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
I received the pathology results from the surgeon, but it has filled me with more questions than answers. I'm discovering that identifying cancer is like peeling away the tough layers of an onion, each one revealing more questions than answers. No two cancers are identical which requires the doctors to insert a lot of speculation in their prognosis, and requires me to trust God more and more with my future treatment.
The surgery was easy compared to the recovery, but I suspect that that's the case with most surgeries. The lymph node dissection left my arm aching, sore and with shooting pains up and down the back of it where the nerves were cut - pleasant, right? I'm 37 years old and yet I can't brush or wash my hair, can't make my own meals, and must ask my 10 year old to write down my shopping list. That's humbling. But at least I can prop my arms up on my desk and type on Facebook - God is good.
The tumor itself was close to the surface which only means that the doctor didn't have to take as much of the surrounding tissue as she normally does. That's good for me, cosmetically. Four out of 7 lymph nodes tested positive for carcinoma, which really doesn't affect my subsequent treatment.
So, I have about 4 to 6 weeks to recover and then chemo treatments will start. I'm dreading this more than anything, mostly because I love, I mean I love my hair. I've never found myself to be exceptionally striking by any means, but I have always found my hair to be fun to style and healthy-looking (except for those 6 years in the mid-80's when it was scorched with spiral perms). So I will be mentally preparing myself over the next month for the loss of my hair and the loss of a part of me...feeling a bit like Samson.
I'm also learning to accept the help of others. I feel hugely blessed to be remembered by so many people, especially the friends from our church who are more like family than friends to us. They have provided meals, cleaning, laundry services, gifts, and most importantly prayers. They have helped Tim and I carry a burden that we could never carry alone.
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us. Ephesians 3:20
The surgery was easy compared to the recovery, but I suspect that that's the case with most surgeries. The lymph node dissection left my arm aching, sore and with shooting pains up and down the back of it where the nerves were cut - pleasant, right? I'm 37 years old and yet I can't brush or wash my hair, can't make my own meals, and must ask my 10 year old to write down my shopping list. That's humbling. But at least I can prop my arms up on my desk and type on Facebook - God is good.
The tumor itself was close to the surface which only means that the doctor didn't have to take as much of the surrounding tissue as she normally does. That's good for me, cosmetically. Four out of 7 lymph nodes tested positive for carcinoma, which really doesn't affect my subsequent treatment.
So, I have about 4 to 6 weeks to recover and then chemo treatments will start. I'm dreading this more than anything, mostly because I love, I mean I love my hair. I've never found myself to be exceptionally striking by any means, but I have always found my hair to be fun to style and healthy-looking (except for those 6 years in the mid-80's when it was scorched with spiral perms). So I will be mentally preparing myself over the next month for the loss of my hair and the loss of a part of me...feeling a bit like Samson.
I'm also learning to accept the help of others. I feel hugely blessed to be remembered by so many people, especially the friends from our church who are more like family than friends to us. They have provided meals, cleaning, laundry services, gifts, and most importantly prayers. They have helped Tim and I carry a burden that we could never carry alone.
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us. Ephesians 3:20
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Prayer Cover
So then, make a statement of your sins to one another, and say prayers for one another so that you may be made well. The prayer of a good man is full of power in its working James 5:16
I am relying on your prayers more than you can imagine. I know that God hears each one of them, as I sense His presence and feel His peace in ways that are new and exciting. Thank you.
As an update, I am scheduled to have a lumpectomy and ancillary lymphnode dissection on Wednesday (I don't know the time yet) at Magee Hospital. Since many of you asked specifically how you can pray for me this week, I've come up with a list to help guide you.
1) Pray for my husband. He has shouldered so much of my burden, and he continues to do it with such courage and wisdom.
2) Pray for my kids, especially on Wednesday when I'm in surgery. Ask God to calm their anxious hearts. Cast out all fears. Give them the confidence in their Mighty God to pray big and expectantly.
3) Pray for the 14 week old baby inside me. Keep him safe from the effects of anasthesia and keep him safe from harm before, during, and after the surgery.
4) Pray for the surgeons and technicians during the surgery. Guide their hands, and provide wisdom to their decision making.
5) Ultimately, I pray for complete physical healing, resting on His promises, "Lo I am the Lord who heals you". Pray that the tumor will be removed easily and the lymphnodes will reveal little, if any cancer.
6) Pray that I'll withstand the anasthesia well and not become too nauseaus. And that the lymphnode port will not become infected in the weeks ahead.
My prayer for Wednesday and the subsequent weeks is from Psalm 40:
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.
May it be so.
I am relying on your prayers more than you can imagine. I know that God hears each one of them, as I sense His presence and feel His peace in ways that are new and exciting. Thank you.
As an update, I am scheduled to have a lumpectomy and ancillary lymphnode dissection on Wednesday (I don't know the time yet) at Magee Hospital. Since many of you asked specifically how you can pray for me this week, I've come up with a list to help guide you.
1) Pray for my husband. He has shouldered so much of my burden, and he continues to do it with such courage and wisdom.
2) Pray for my kids, especially on Wednesday when I'm in surgery. Ask God to calm their anxious hearts. Cast out all fears. Give them the confidence in their Mighty God to pray big and expectantly.
3) Pray for the 14 week old baby inside me. Keep him safe from the effects of anasthesia and keep him safe from harm before, during, and after the surgery.
4) Pray for the surgeons and technicians during the surgery. Guide their hands, and provide wisdom to their decision making.
5) Ultimately, I pray for complete physical healing, resting on His promises, "Lo I am the Lord who heals you". Pray that the tumor will be removed easily and the lymphnodes will reveal little, if any cancer.
6) Pray that I'll withstand the anasthesia well and not become too nauseaus. And that the lymphnode port will not become infected in the weeks ahead.
My prayer for Wednesday and the subsequent weeks is from Psalm 40:
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.
May it be so.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
"The Lord is my Strength, My Personal Warrior, My Invincible Army" (Hab. 3:17)
A friend recently shared this verse from the Amplified Bible with me. Yesterday, while sitting in the biopsy lab, I repeated it over and over in my mind.
The verse continues: "He makes my feet to be like Hinds' feet to walk, not to stand in terror, but to walk with spiritual progress upon the heights of my troubles, sufferings and responsibilities".
Isn't that beautiful? It's wonderful to think that if I trust in God I will not be paralyzed by the "unknowns" or the "what ifs" but He will give me the ability to keep moving forward to greater and greater heights, in spite of my weaknesses.
Yesterday I received a full medical physical to prepare for my upcoming surgery. After bloodwork, Ekg's, x-rays, etc my doctor asserted, "Except for cancer, you're the picture of perfect health". I had to laugh at the irony of that statement. But then I considered how much that applies to my spiritual walk with Jesus Christ. How often I think, "Except for lashing out at my children and losing patience with my husband, I'm the picture of perfect spiritual health", or "Except for coveting my neighbor's situation or resenting mine, I'm the picture of perfect spiritual health."
I'm praying that as the medical professionals cut away and treat the deadly disease inside of me, that God's Spirit will also be at work cutting away the deadly sins inside of me making more and more like His perfect, sinless Son.
Yesterday's procedure was not pleasant. The biopsy was even more painful than the previous ones, and might I add, much less dignified, if that's possible. But through it all, I felt covered in the prayers of thousands of people (yes, that's right, thousands!) that are praying for me and I was blessed to know that my children were being well-cared for by loving friends.
Friday is a big day for us as we learn both the results of the biopsy and we get to meet Baby Gerwing #7 - hopefully we'll learn if it's a Leah Hope or an Aaden Troy.
We continue to covet all your prayers.
A friend recently shared this verse from the Amplified Bible with me. Yesterday, while sitting in the biopsy lab, I repeated it over and over in my mind.
The verse continues: "He makes my feet to be like Hinds' feet to walk, not to stand in terror, but to walk with spiritual progress upon the heights of my troubles, sufferings and responsibilities".
Isn't that beautiful? It's wonderful to think that if I trust in God I will not be paralyzed by the "unknowns" or the "what ifs" but He will give me the ability to keep moving forward to greater and greater heights, in spite of my weaknesses.
Yesterday I received a full medical physical to prepare for my upcoming surgery. After bloodwork, Ekg's, x-rays, etc my doctor asserted, "Except for cancer, you're the picture of perfect health". I had to laugh at the irony of that statement. But then I considered how much that applies to my spiritual walk with Jesus Christ. How often I think, "Except for lashing out at my children and losing patience with my husband, I'm the picture of perfect spiritual health", or "Except for coveting my neighbor's situation or resenting mine, I'm the picture of perfect spiritual health."
I'm praying that as the medical professionals cut away and treat the deadly disease inside of me, that God's Spirit will also be at work cutting away the deadly sins inside of me making more and more like His perfect, sinless Son.
Yesterday's procedure was not pleasant. The biopsy was even more painful than the previous ones, and might I add, much less dignified, if that's possible. But through it all, I felt covered in the prayers of thousands of people (yes, that's right, thousands!) that are praying for me and I was blessed to know that my children were being well-cared for by loving friends.
Friday is a big day for us as we learn both the results of the biopsy and we get to meet Baby Gerwing #7 - hopefully we'll learn if it's a Leah Hope or an Aaden Troy.
We continue to covet all your prayers.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Some Housekeeping
I'm humbled by the outpouring of love that I've received since making my pregnancy/diagnosis public a few days ago. I've had friends stop by just to hug me, bring me meals, pray for me - it's just overwhelming. And I can really see Christ's hands and feet reaching out to me through each of you.
Since many of you have had the same questions about the pregnancy and the cancer, I decided to blog the answers. From now on when anyone asks me the details of my treatment, I can just send them here - how efficient!
TOP TEN MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
1) Yes, I discovered the lump on my own, but only by the grace of God. The story goes: Tim and I were done having children - Done with a capital "D". However, I suspected that I might be pregnant and in the process of checking out all the typical physical symptoms that accompany early pregnancy, I found a lump in my right breast. So this unplanned little life inside me has possibly saved mine! God is so good.
2) The cancer is suspected to be at stage 2 because it's moved to my lymph nodes. How many will be determined in surgery. I also go for yet another biopsy next Tuesday to make sure it's not anywhere else in my breast, which would then change the staging (God is bigger than stages, however). Just for the record, needle biopsies make natural childbirth seem like a walk in the park. Please pray for me on Tuesday.
3) My surgery is scheduled for March 4th at Magee Hospital.
4) My oldest sister will be staying with me for about a week while I recover from surgery.
5)I can receive chemo therapy while pregnant. Psalm 139 tells us he "knit you together in your mother's womb". God has provided a protective shield around the baby to prevent any side-effects from the chemo. In fact, he's so well protected, that I'll lose my hair, but he won't. Just precious.
6) We told our kids the other night. Their biggest concern is the hair loss. My oldest daughter begged me to get a wig and my youngest son said "Mom, promise me you'll never walk into my room at night with your bald head, that would be too creepy." Gotta love 6 year old boys.
7)God has revealed himself to me powerfully over the past 2 weeks. I hope to share many of them, so please come visit here again.
8)I'm on a special diet - no meat, no dairy, mostly raw foods. I'm taking lots of supplements for both me and baby. This was not prescribed by the doctor (in fact they'd probably dissuade me from it), but God lead me to this diet. First week was tough, but now I'm used to it. It's amazing what you can be driven to do when you feel your life is on the line.
9) My husband is just an amazing rock for me. He makes my hot water every morning, counts out all my supplements, buys me carrots for my juicer (lots of carrots) and has sat with me for hours on end at the doctors' appointments. More than anything, he has encouraged me in my faith and has carried the torch of Christ for our family.
10) Finally, I have complete confidence that God will heal me. In fact, I believe he already has, it's just a matter of when I'll see it. I'm prepared to walk through the shadows of surgery, chemo and radiation, if on the other side I'll be more like Him. He never wastes our time. And as much as I want 2009 to go by quickly, I will try to savor each lesson taught, each divine word spoken, and each time God shows up.
Since many of you have had the same questions about the pregnancy and the cancer, I decided to blog the answers. From now on when anyone asks me the details of my treatment, I can just send them here - how efficient!
TOP TEN MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
1) Yes, I discovered the lump on my own, but only by the grace of God. The story goes: Tim and I were done having children - Done with a capital "D". However, I suspected that I might be pregnant and in the process of checking out all the typical physical symptoms that accompany early pregnancy, I found a lump in my right breast. So this unplanned little life inside me has possibly saved mine! God is so good.
2) The cancer is suspected to be at stage 2 because it's moved to my lymph nodes. How many will be determined in surgery. I also go for yet another biopsy next Tuesday to make sure it's not anywhere else in my breast, which would then change the staging (God is bigger than stages, however). Just for the record, needle biopsies make natural childbirth seem like a walk in the park. Please pray for me on Tuesday.
3) My surgery is scheduled for March 4th at Magee Hospital.
4) My oldest sister will be staying with me for about a week while I recover from surgery.
5)I can receive chemo therapy while pregnant. Psalm 139 tells us he "knit you together in your mother's womb". God has provided a protective shield around the baby to prevent any side-effects from the chemo. In fact, he's so well protected, that I'll lose my hair, but he won't. Just precious.
6) We told our kids the other night. Their biggest concern is the hair loss. My oldest daughter begged me to get a wig and my youngest son said "Mom, promise me you'll never walk into my room at night with your bald head, that would be too creepy." Gotta love 6 year old boys.
7)God has revealed himself to me powerfully over the past 2 weeks. I hope to share many of them, so please come visit here again.
8)I'm on a special diet - no meat, no dairy, mostly raw foods. I'm taking lots of supplements for both me and baby. This was not prescribed by the doctor (in fact they'd probably dissuade me from it), but God lead me to this diet. First week was tough, but now I'm used to it. It's amazing what you can be driven to do when you feel your life is on the line.
9) My husband is just an amazing rock for me. He makes my hot water every morning, counts out all my supplements, buys me carrots for my juicer (lots of carrots) and has sat with me for hours on end at the doctors' appointments. More than anything, he has encouraged me in my faith and has carried the torch of Christ for our family.
10) Finally, I have complete confidence that God will heal me. In fact, I believe he already has, it's just a matter of when I'll see it. I'm prepared to walk through the shadows of surgery, chemo and radiation, if on the other side I'll be more like Him. He never wastes our time. And as much as I want 2009 to go by quickly, I will try to savor each lesson taught, each divine word spoken, and each time God shows up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
