"The Lord is my Strength, My Personal Warrior, My Invincible Army" (Hab. 3:17)
A friend recently shared this verse from the Amplified Bible with me. Yesterday, while sitting in the biopsy lab, I repeated it over and over in my mind.
The verse continues: "He makes my feet to be like Hinds' feet to walk, not to stand in terror, but to walk with spiritual progress upon the heights of my troubles, sufferings and responsibilities".
Isn't that beautiful? It's wonderful to think that if I trust in God I will not be paralyzed by the "unknowns" or the "what ifs" but He will give me the ability to keep moving forward to greater and greater heights, in spite of my weaknesses.
Yesterday I received a full medical physical to prepare for my upcoming surgery. After bloodwork, Ekg's, x-rays, etc my doctor asserted, "Except for cancer, you're the picture of perfect health". I had to laugh at the irony of that statement. But then I considered how much that applies to my spiritual walk with Jesus Christ. How often I think, "Except for lashing out at my children and losing patience with my husband, I'm the picture of perfect spiritual health", or "Except for coveting my neighbor's situation or resenting mine, I'm the picture of perfect spiritual health."
I'm praying that as the medical professionals cut away and treat the deadly disease inside of me, that God's Spirit will also be at work cutting away the deadly sins inside of me making more and more like His perfect, sinless Son.
Yesterday's procedure was not pleasant. The biopsy was even more painful than the previous ones, and might I add, much less dignified, if that's possible. But through it all, I felt covered in the prayers of thousands of people (yes, that's right, thousands!) that are praying for me and I was blessed to know that my children were being well-cared for by loving friends.
Friday is a big day for us as we learn both the results of the biopsy and we get to meet Baby Gerwing #7 - hopefully we'll learn if it's a Leah Hope or an Aaden Troy.
We continue to covet all your prayers.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Some Housekeeping
I'm humbled by the outpouring of love that I've received since making my pregnancy/diagnosis public a few days ago. I've had friends stop by just to hug me, bring me meals, pray for me - it's just overwhelming. And I can really see Christ's hands and feet reaching out to me through each of you.
Since many of you have had the same questions about the pregnancy and the cancer, I decided to blog the answers. From now on when anyone asks me the details of my treatment, I can just send them here - how efficient!
TOP TEN MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
1) Yes, I discovered the lump on my own, but only by the grace of God. The story goes: Tim and I were done having children - Done with a capital "D". However, I suspected that I might be pregnant and in the process of checking out all the typical physical symptoms that accompany early pregnancy, I found a lump in my right breast. So this unplanned little life inside me has possibly saved mine! God is so good.
2) The cancer is suspected to be at stage 2 because it's moved to my lymph nodes. How many will be determined in surgery. I also go for yet another biopsy next Tuesday to make sure it's not anywhere else in my breast, which would then change the staging (God is bigger than stages, however). Just for the record, needle biopsies make natural childbirth seem like a walk in the park. Please pray for me on Tuesday.
3) My surgery is scheduled for March 4th at Magee Hospital.
4) My oldest sister will be staying with me for about a week while I recover from surgery.
5)I can receive chemo therapy while pregnant. Psalm 139 tells us he "knit you together in your mother's womb". God has provided a protective shield around the baby to prevent any side-effects from the chemo. In fact, he's so well protected, that I'll lose my hair, but he won't. Just precious.
6) We told our kids the other night. Their biggest concern is the hair loss. My oldest daughter begged me to get a wig and my youngest son said "Mom, promise me you'll never walk into my room at night with your bald head, that would be too creepy." Gotta love 6 year old boys.
7)God has revealed himself to me powerfully over the past 2 weeks. I hope to share many of them, so please come visit here again.
8)I'm on a special diet - no meat, no dairy, mostly raw foods. I'm taking lots of supplements for both me and baby. This was not prescribed by the doctor (in fact they'd probably dissuade me from it), but God lead me to this diet. First week was tough, but now I'm used to it. It's amazing what you can be driven to do when you feel your life is on the line.
9) My husband is just an amazing rock for me. He makes my hot water every morning, counts out all my supplements, buys me carrots for my juicer (lots of carrots) and has sat with me for hours on end at the doctors' appointments. More than anything, he has encouraged me in my faith and has carried the torch of Christ for our family.
10) Finally, I have complete confidence that God will heal me. In fact, I believe he already has, it's just a matter of when I'll see it. I'm prepared to walk through the shadows of surgery, chemo and radiation, if on the other side I'll be more like Him. He never wastes our time. And as much as I want 2009 to go by quickly, I will try to savor each lesson taught, each divine word spoken, and each time God shows up.
Since many of you have had the same questions about the pregnancy and the cancer, I decided to blog the answers. From now on when anyone asks me the details of my treatment, I can just send them here - how efficient!
TOP TEN MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
1) Yes, I discovered the lump on my own, but only by the grace of God. The story goes: Tim and I were done having children - Done with a capital "D". However, I suspected that I might be pregnant and in the process of checking out all the typical physical symptoms that accompany early pregnancy, I found a lump in my right breast. So this unplanned little life inside me has possibly saved mine! God is so good.
2) The cancer is suspected to be at stage 2 because it's moved to my lymph nodes. How many will be determined in surgery. I also go for yet another biopsy next Tuesday to make sure it's not anywhere else in my breast, which would then change the staging (God is bigger than stages, however). Just for the record, needle biopsies make natural childbirth seem like a walk in the park. Please pray for me on Tuesday.
3) My surgery is scheduled for March 4th at Magee Hospital.
4) My oldest sister will be staying with me for about a week while I recover from surgery.
5)I can receive chemo therapy while pregnant. Psalm 139 tells us he "knit you together in your mother's womb". God has provided a protective shield around the baby to prevent any side-effects from the chemo. In fact, he's so well protected, that I'll lose my hair, but he won't. Just precious.
6) We told our kids the other night. Their biggest concern is the hair loss. My oldest daughter begged me to get a wig and my youngest son said "Mom, promise me you'll never walk into my room at night with your bald head, that would be too creepy." Gotta love 6 year old boys.
7)God has revealed himself to me powerfully over the past 2 weeks. I hope to share many of them, so please come visit here again.
8)I'm on a special diet - no meat, no dairy, mostly raw foods. I'm taking lots of supplements for both me and baby. This was not prescribed by the doctor (in fact they'd probably dissuade me from it), but God lead me to this diet. First week was tough, but now I'm used to it. It's amazing what you can be driven to do when you feel your life is on the line.
9) My husband is just an amazing rock for me. He makes my hot water every morning, counts out all my supplements, buys me carrots for my juicer (lots of carrots) and has sat with me for hours on end at the doctors' appointments. More than anything, he has encouraged me in my faith and has carried the torch of Christ for our family.
10) Finally, I have complete confidence that God will heal me. In fact, I believe he already has, it's just a matter of when I'll see it. I'm prepared to walk through the shadows of surgery, chemo and radiation, if on the other side I'll be more like Him. He never wastes our time. And as much as I want 2009 to go by quickly, I will try to savor each lesson taught, each divine word spoken, and each time God shows up.
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