Four Down Twelve to Go...

Progress!! - I'm done with the first series of four chemo treatments. This is a huge milestone as the AC chemo that I've received is toxic to the core. It's funny the other day I mentioned this to a friend in earshot of my 10 year old. So Olivia asked me what toxic means. I told her, hesistantly, "Well, hon, it means, poisonous". Her eyes widened as she slowly realized that mom's visits to the doctor to make her well, were actually visits to be injected with poison. The irony.

As the nurse administered the last of the adryomycin she confirmed for me what I already suspected. In her 19 years of oncology, she'd rarely seen a patient who didn't suffer side effects. I can only attribute this to the power of the prayers being lifted up by so many friends, family and even strangers, who I'll never know on this side of heaven. Keep it up!

The good news came when the physicians assistant gave me the news that I can continue with treatments throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. I was thrilled by this news on several fronts. First, I'll be able to complete the majority of my treatments before Leah is born. Secondly, I won't have to contend with weekly hospital runs at the beginning of the schoolyear. (although radiation treatments will indeed have their own challenges, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it).

I'm anxious to begin the next treatment on Thursday. It should be short and sweet compared to the administration of the previous drug. I'm praying that again, there will be no side effects and also that my veins hold up to the I.V. - they are getting tired.

It's funny, even though I am still in the middle of treatments, I feel emotionally that I've moved beyond the shock and awe of having cancer. I'm ready to move on with my life and have already begun to think about my life in terms of "next year", and "in five years when". This is great progress from where I was just a few short months ago. God has already placed women in my life who are being confronted with the news that they have or may have breast cancer. It feels great to be strong enough to comfort them and brings to life the verse from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God"

I'm surprised by how little time God gives us to wallow in our own hurts and sufferings. Life is too short. He calls us to get out of the pit and minister to those around us even when we feel we're not ready. It reminds me of the time my little Jonah got nailed in the face during a soccer game. He instinctively came running to me on the sideline for comfort. I quickly hugged and kissed the boo boo, rubbed out the pain, and urged him to get back out on the field because his teammates needed him. I knew he still felt the sting of that ball, but sitting on the sideline would only exacerbate it. Similarly, I feel like God has given me the same instructions. The hurt is still there, but God sometimes wants us to push through the pain to experience his great relief.

While I'm Waiting...

Every song has a season, and every season is made for a song. I think I've listened to this one over a hundred times in the past few months.

"I will move ahead, bold and confident, taking every step in obedience. While I'm waiting..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y