I received the pathology results from the surgeon, but it has filled me with more questions than answers. I'm discovering that identifying cancer is like peeling away the tough layers of an onion, each one revealing more questions than answers. No two cancers are identical which requires the doctors to insert a lot of speculation in their prognosis, and requires me to trust God more and more with my future treatment.

The surgery was easy compared to the recovery, but I suspect that that's the case with most surgeries. The lymph node dissection left my arm aching, sore and with shooting pains up and down the back of it where the nerves were cut - pleasant, right? I'm 37 years old and yet I can't brush or wash my hair, can't make my own meals, and must ask my 10 year old to write down my shopping list. That's humbling. But at least I can prop my arms up on my desk and type on Facebook - God is good.

The tumor itself was close to the surface which only means that the doctor didn't have to take as much of the surrounding tissue as she normally does. That's good for me, cosmetically. Four out of 7 lymph nodes tested positive for carcinoma, which really doesn't affect my subsequent treatment.

So, I have about 4 to 6 weeks to recover and then chemo treatments will start. I'm dreading this more than anything, mostly because I love, I mean I love my hair. I've never found myself to be exceptionally striking by any means, but I have always found my hair to be fun to style and healthy-looking (except for those 6 years in the mid-80's when it was scorched with spiral perms). So I will be mentally preparing myself over the next month for the loss of my hair and the loss of a part of me...feeling a bit like Samson.

I'm also learning to accept the help of others. I feel hugely blessed to be remembered by so many people, especially the friends from our church who are more like family than friends to us. They have provided meals, cleaning, laundry services, gifts, and most importantly prayers. They have helped Tim and I carry a burden that we could never carry alone.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us. Ephesians 3:20